Life Without My Coping Mechanism

Imagine what happens when you are stripped of the only significant coping mechanism in life?! It initially makes you a bit restless, then gets you anxious and eventually drives you insane. For a physically active person that cannot indulge in cardio, it then definitely turns into a full-blown crisis. That was my life in the last 12 months, crowned with back-to-back injuries. Except, in my case the crisis was exacerbated by a stressful attempt to juggle a few tricky things – a new role at work, CFA exams and recovery & rehab. There definitely was recovery & rehab, but surely not a pain-free or speedy one. Rehab was laden with constant and painful set-backs.

How about I list my injuries for some context? Posture-related neck and shoulder pain with pins & needles down my arms, lower back disc protrusion causing sciatic nerve compression resulting in pins & needles down my legs, pain around my knee-cap due to weakness in the surrounding muscle groups, ankle pain due to weak calf & shin muscles and tenderness in the foot. On a lighter note, I was pleasantly surprised I didn’t collapse! The causes are primarily poor posture, chronic stress and unscientific marathon training methods (self-advocated!). Worrying about the injuries certainly didn’t help either!

Lessons learnt?

  1. Read ‘Mind over Body’ as ‘Mind over (a strong) Body’: Start with a strong body and then coax your mind to challenge the body. Ignore this and you kill the concept of sustainability!
  2. Acceptance: It is what it is. Not an easy task but helps to come to terms with it earlier than later. Just do the right things and keep at it – that’s all you can do. Hopefully with time things fall in place.
  3. Stay Engaged: There is no shame in being injured, it eventually gets you stronger. It is natural to want to stay withdrawn, but is important to stay engaged, especially with the running community – you are most likely to bump into a runner with a similar experience. Such interactions help draw strength from success stories and induce a good amount of hope!
  4. Loneliness in injury: Nobody understands you during this phase, however much they may claim to the contrary. You are alone in your pain and misery! But what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

I’m working with the best of physios in the city – they have been there with me every step of the way! Of course it is very expensive and I maybe a couple or more years away from being able to run ( = a strong finish) but I wouldn’t have been able to handle this by myself. My physios have made me understand and address the cause rather than the symptoms. I personally think physios passionate about running would make the best running coaches ever – they are most likely to help you prevent injuries and in the event of one are unlikely to abandon you.

Although I have come a long way in the last few months, rehab is hard work, harder still if you are desperate to get back to what you love! There are times when I feel terribly low, times when I wallow in self-pity (if only I had done things right!) and times when I’m ready to give up but I hope my belief that one day I’d get back to running with absolutely ‘no looking back’ wins! If I do succeed, I’d be happy to share my experience in the hope that it would somehow somewhere benefit someone!

Life without coping mechanism