Do women help each other?

I don’t claim to be an expert while making such observations as the ones expressed in this article. My views stem from a combination of instinct and experience, though they may differ from that of the readers.The last couple of years during ‘networking events’, I’ve noticed very few women show interest in having conversations with those of the same sex. Well,  I guess it is quite natural that opposites attract. I also got the impression that few women executives from bulge bracket banks and consulting giants attend such events merely from a publicity or reputational standpoint. They couldn’t care less about identifying and fostering female talent. Clearly the attitude is, ‘I’ve come up the hard way with all odds against me,  so why bother with mentoring? ‘. To a  large extent women are responsible for putting a spoke in the wheel hampering career progression of peers or juniors!

And why wouldn’t they if their experience has been any similar to or worse than the ones mentioned below?!

As a student ambassador of London Business School I’ve been interacting with many prospective students as well as those admitted into the program over the last two years.  While most of them still manage a ‘hi’ or a ‘smile’ or even a ‘nod’ in acknowledgement of my presence,  there are a handful (including ‘females’) who go out of their way to avoid the rendezvous – either by seeing through me or by walking around,  rather than past me to avoid eye contact! Subsequent to such repetitive episodes when my intelligence has clearly ruled out ‘coincidence’ as the rationale for the spontaneous behaviour,  what motivation would I have to mentor these characters going forward? !

A classmate of mine was attempting a career shift from being a trader to a buy – side analyst.  I gathered from her that she was given a cold shoulder by every female she reached out to and met up with from the industry. It was a few acquaintances and friends (men) who helped her with meaningful connections. Today she has successfully made an entry into the sector with a global asset management firm after nearly a year of hard work and undying determination. I doubt she’d be jumping up in joy at an opportunity to help a woman anytime soon!

I’m sure other women have encountered similar or even worse situations that have certainly influenced their perception of ‘women’ in general. Many times when you can’t truly get back at those who actually cause the bitterness,  it is natural to hold a grudge against a particular gender/race/nationality at large. To rise above such situation requires tremendous strength of character. I’m not sure I can do that myself at all times!

When I see women around me I always wonder what causes them to be so passionately against each other quite often?Would it be envy at the others fate? Could it be personal insecurities?

Though it is undeniably challenging,  it would be great if women leaders could take on greater mentorship responsibilities to bring more women into the fold of senior management in the global corporate world. Most of those successful have stories of toil and battling against the odds to speak of and write about. Of course it is commendable to be able to succeed, but why not make it a bit simpler for those genuinely deserving of a helping hand? !

This article does not mean I’m not a feminist. How can I be against women when I’m one of them?! How can I not be a feminist being an alumnus of Stella Maris College, Chennai. It is just that I see things that are not doing womenfolk any good and am thinking out loud!

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with my maternal grandparents,  paticularly my grandmom,  as a child,  a teen and as an adult. I’ve been greatly affected by her views and they ended up shaping my fundamentals. She says,  ‘There will always be people better off and worse off than you in life at any given point in time. The former drives you towards excellence whereas the latter keeps you grounded’. Acceptance of and love for the ‘package’, that is ‘you’, with all the strengths and weaknesses shall exorcise the demons of insecurities. Arrogance might get people to move up the ladder towards success in life but it stalls success beyond a point.

I just hope we women help make the lives of other women much more pleasant and beautiful going forward 🙂 if we don’t help each other out who else would? !