Despite the negativity, I successfully relocated to London for my Masters. The last couple of years have clearly been the best phase of my life; undeniably tough but also the steepest learning curve. I was overjoyed at being amidst the ‘less unequal’ Western society. There is respect for every profession. Career aspirations are largely encouraged. The focus of the past several months have been to determine a career that would keep me alive and spirited at most times. To gain new perspectives and set realistic targets I’ve interacted extensively with the alumni of my school and have had long discussions with my peers.
Surprisingly (or maybe not), ‘marriage’ as a solution to my confusion over career options emerged a few times during such interactions. It’s simply amazing to note that such perfect solutions were the brainchild of a few men from my own country but living in London. It’s such a shame that no amount of education and exposure alters their skewed view of women in general.
I appreciate genuine concern when I sense it; an alumni mentor of mine (a banker by profession) shared his perspective on the rewards of having a family and a life partner. I know he meant well! But ‘marriage’ as a solution to lack of clarity on career options coming from men who are barely acquaintances is rude and unwelcome! Too much listening to this crap sometimes makes me wonder, maybe? Thankfully within the next few seconds I swiftly retrace from such disruptive thoughts.
I’m not against the institution of marriage; in fact I appreciate it too much to be coaxed into it on account of undue external pressures. I’m yet to meet a guy who’d make me want to take the plunge!
Meanwhile life goes on. I cannot put time or happiness on hold. I went through a rough patch between 2009-11. My mom then shared this quote by H.D. Thoreau with me – ”Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and softly sit on your shoulder”. I believe the same applies to love, soul mates and marriages! !! But to career? Certainly not! !! One has to work her ass off for a good career, it just helps to do what you love 🙂
Comments 13
Awesome stuff!! Keep up the good work
Hey thanks, am a fan of your blog. Will start following you 😉
At the end it all comes to what you want. Some people love having a family and settling down, some love to pursue there passions. You just set your priorities right and do what you have to do. Women generally have a hard time in India, so it was a good decision to move on to another place where you can focus better.
Hey Vipin, of course each one’s priorities are different. If women choose family over career is commendable no doubt! But most often than not in India, women are discouraged from attempting to balance both and are expected to put family first. It’s this attitude I loathe. I admire homemakers, my own aunt is one but it was her decision. She is a gold medalist from Guindy Engineering College; she is well travelled and has lived and worked in the US for over 20 years. But she decided to give up career for her kids.
lovely article 🙂
Kiddo you are the best. You have what it takes to do the right thing in life, be it your career or your marriage. i have always loved the spirit you exhibit, the joy of living shining from your eyes. don’t let anyone or anything dim that light. i am waiting eagerly to watch you scale the heights both professionally and personally.cheers
Thank you ma’am. You are sort of incredibly special to me. I still remember the notes in your hand during business law classes and your constant attempt to get the class to listen to you 😉 while the diligent me used to hang on to every word you said 🙂
Hey Gayathri.. I really appreciate your thoughts and giving them in a forum like this is really good ( Many of us don’t try these stuff ). I think there is no right / wrong thing and it is decisions we take lead our life. Keep your priorities clean and focus on them, But don’t forget to balance life as personal stuff is equally important to career. I think you are doing great.. Keep going..
Thanks Vasan! Agreed, focus is all that’s required, which by the way, is the toughest to maintain 😛
There will always be doubters and naysayers trying to bring you down, mostly because they are jealous and they can’t do it, what you are doing?; occasionally, someone might bring in an iota of truth to their argument–but you can’t make decisions based on outliers. So Fight on! Prove’ em wrong.
It’s a good perspective 🙂 hope I continue to exhibit unwavering sprit to continue moving forward and scaling heights despite the odds! But I’d like to point out that the naysayers are not outliers, they are the majority 😉
Hi Gayu,
You probably should have become a journalist!
A great article there!
Agree with your perspectives cent percent! Any plans of coming over to Chennai? Stay in touch n take care.
Hi Anna, thanks so much!!! Should be back for good in June! Will surely catch up when I’m back. Take Care. Love, Gayu